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Special
Holiday Issue!
In
This Issue:
Will
the Feds Bust Santa Claus?.... Is Santa a Libertarian? (our annual
holiday poem).... Our Christmas Gift to you: take 15% off ALL Advocates
products through the end of the year.... End-of-the-Year Report....
and more!
The
Liberator Online
Vol. 10, No. 22 | December 21,
2005
Circulation: 65,853 subscribers in over 100 countries
Published by the Advocates for Self-Government
Edited by James W. Harris | Email:
james(a)TheAdvocates.org
Created by Paul Schmidt and James W. Harris
"The
Advocates makes invaluable contributions to the freedom cause.
For twenty years the Advocates has worked tirelessly to help
libertarians better communicate the ideas of liberty. I continue
to be impressed by the Advocates' work."
-- U.S. Congressman Ron Paul (R-Texas)
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Contents
PRESIDENT'S
CORNER
*
Counting our holiday blessings...
SPECIAL
HOLIDAY FEATURES
*
Will the Feds Bust Santa Claus?
* HOLIDAY POEM: "A Liberty Christmas..."
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President's
Corner |
Dear
friends,
Happy Holidays!
When I count my blessings, the thousands of great people who read
this publication are high on that list.
Thank you for being a Liberator Online reader -- one of
the very important people who understand how vital it is to build
a worldwide movement dedicated to individual liberty, abundance,
and peace.
This holiday issue is much shorter than our usual issues -- we know
everyone's busy this time of year.
We've included two special treats. First up, "Will the Feds
Bust Santa Claus?" This has become something of a libertarian
Christmas classic. It was written a few years ago as a Libertarian
Party press release by former LP Press Secretary, and Advocates
friend and supporter, George Getz. Feel free to forward to friends!
Second, our annual Christmas poem. (Warning: this poem has not been
approved by the U.S.D.R.M -- the U.S. Department of Rhyme and Meter.
So beware of colliding syllables and highly unlikely rhymes!)
* * *
A Special Request for Your End-of-Year
Support
As the endorsement from Congressman Ron Paul above notes, the Advocates
performs vital work for liberty -- work no other organization does.
Work that benefits the entire liberty movement.
* Grassroots activists rely heavily on our tools and training.
* Millions of people encounter libertarian ideas annually through
our efforts.
* Tens of thousands of students now encounter our World's Smallest
Political Quiz in their classroom materials.
* Our work has been praised by libertarian leaders for over two
decades.
2005 has been a challenging year for the Advocates -- and a year
of achievements. I'm proud of what we accomplished, and I am hoping
for an even more successful year for the Advocates in 2006.
I've written extensively about our recent successes in an End-of-Year
report, and I hope you'll read it -- I think you'll find it exciting
and inspiring. http://www.theadvocates.org/year-end-report-2005.html.
I especially hope that it will inspire some of you to contribute
to see that this great work continues and expands.
We rely almost entirely on donations from supporters. And frankly,
contributions have been down this past year. I attribute that in
part to the downturn in the economy.
So your help is very much needed and I can personally assure you
it will be very much appreciated! Every dollar will help us close
the gap and let us start the New Year in full strength.
We have some great gifts for you if you're
able to donate to our work. You can read about them in the End-of-Year
Report. http://www.theadvocates.org/year-end-report-2005.html.
If you can help with an end-of-the-year online donation, it would
be most appreciated. (And it is tax-deductible, too.)
With your help, we'll go on to make 2006 the best year yet!
* * *
Join me at the 2006 San Diego Libertarian
Party Convention!
The San Diego Libertarian Party is a highly motivated and very active
group of freedom-lovers. They have more members than any other LP
chapter in the nation.
I'll have the honor of speaking at this event, to be held January
28, 2006 at the Marina Village Conference Center. Other speakers
include Jim Babka of the limited-government activist organization
DownsizeDC; world-renowned success/motivational speaker Bob Burg;
and legendary libertarian activist Richard Rider. Plus -- the food
is going to be fantastic! I hope to see many of you there. For more
info: http://live.sdlp.org/index.php/2005/12/06/the-2006-san-diego-libertarian-party-convention.
* * *
A special welcome to 254 new Liberator Online subscribers
this issue. Thanks for joining our subscription "family"
of over 65,000 liberty-loving readers in over 100 countries!
To learn more about the Advocates and our work for liberty: http://www.theadvocates.org.
To learn more about libertarianism:
http://www.Libertarianism.com.
On January 4, 2006 we'll be back with our regular features and writers
-- including Mary Ruwart, Michael Cloud, and James W. Harris.
Enjoy the holidays!
-- Sharon Harris, President
| Email: sharon(a)TheAdvocates.org
PS: Our Holiday Gift to You:15% off EVERYTHING
in our online catalog! [Offer good through January 3,
2006.]
Great tools for liberty: books, tapes, videos, CDs, T-shirts, Quiz
cards, OPH kits... EVERYTHING! It's our end-of-the-year gift to
Liberator Online readers.
Add to your library of great libertarian books. Get video and audio
tapes by major libertarian thinkers and speakers -- like Michael
Cloud, Mary Ruwart, Harry Browne, Walter Block and so many more.
The discount applies to ALL merchandise. (Not discounted: shipping,
applicable taxes, and magazine subscriptions, whose price we do
not control.)
You can browse the catalog and place your order from here: http://www.theadvocates.org/liberator-online-special.html.
(PLEASE NOTE: The prices you'll see at our catalog are our *original*
prices. Before we charge your card, we will subtract the 15%.)
If you prefer to order by phone or mail, please use the contact
information at the end of this issue.
We guarantee your satisfaction with all Advocates products. Try
them at no risk -- if you're not completely satisfied, simply return
for a full refund.
Offer good through January 3, 2006. Thank you!
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Special
Holiday Features
Special
News Bulletin: Will the Feds Bust Santa Claus?
by
George Getz
When Santa Claus comes to town this week, he'd better watch out
-- because the federal government may be making a list of his crimes
(and checking it twice), the Libertarian Party warned today.
"Hark the federal agents sing, Santa is guilty of nearly everything,"
said Libertarian Party press secretary George Getz. "The feds
know when Santa's been bad or good -- and he's been bad, for goodness
sakes."
Does Santa belong in the slammer? Instead of stuffing stockings,
should he be making license plates?
Yes, said Getz, if he's held to the same standards as a typical
American. For example:
* Every December 25, the illegal immigrant known as Santa Claus
crosses the border into the United States without a passport. He
carries concealed contraband, which he sneaks into the country in
order to avoid inspection by the U.S. Customs Service. And just
what's in all those brightly colored packages tied up with ribbons,
anyway? The Drug Czar and Homeland Security want to know.
* Look at how this international fugitive gets around: Santa flies
in a custom-built sleigh that hasn't been approved by the FAA. He
never files a flight plan. He has no pilot's license. In the dark
of night, he rides the skies with just a tiny bioluminescent red
light to guide him -- a clear violation of traffic safety regulations.
* Pulling Santa's sleigh: Eight tiny reindeer, a federally protected
species being put to hard labor. None of these reindeer have their
required shots, and Santa's never bothered to get these genetically-engineered
animals registered and licensed. It's no wonder: He keeps them penned
outside his workplace in a clear violation of zoning laws.
* But Crooked Claus the Conniving Capitalist harms more than just
animals -- he's hurting hard-working American laborers, too. Isn't
Santa's Workshop really Santa's Sweatshop, where his non-union employees
don't make minimum wage and get no holiday pay? Add the fact that
OSHA has never inspected the place, and you have a Third-World elf-exploitation
operation that only Kathy Lee Gifford could love.
* No wonder Santa is able to maintain his monopoly over the toy
distribution industry: He's cornered the Christmas gift market.
Santa dares to give away his products for free in a sinister attempt
to crush all competition -- just like Microsoft's Internet Explorer.
Antitrust Lawsuit Memo to the feds: Is Santa Claus the Bill Gates
of Christmas?
The bottom line, said Getz: "It might be tough sledding for
Jolly St. Nick this Christmas if the government decides to prosecute
him.
"We're just surprised it hasn't already happened. After all,
Santa Claus is everything that politicians aren't: He's popular,
reliable, and gives us something for nothing every December 25th
-- instead of taking our money every April 15th."
Holiday
Poem: "A Liberty Christmas..."
Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the land
Libertarians dreamed of the ideals of
Rothbard, Hayek and Rand.
Enchanted by this glorious vision of liberty,
Many yearned for better ways to help their neighbors see
The great benefits that would come if they'd only embrace
A philosophy of freedom for all, whatever country or race.
At our home the stockings and decorations were up,
We'd left Santa some cookies and some milk in a cup.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of Liberty danced in their heads.
I in my Advocates T-shirt, and Mom in her Self-Governor's Cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When outside the window there arose such a clatter
That I leapt from my bed to see what was the matter!
There through the window I saw an amazing sight
That any other time of year would have given me a fright!
A sleigh pulled by reindeer flashing through the sky so quick,
And led by no less than -- Jolly Old St. Nick!
As he roared through the air, heading straight for my abode,
I saw the sled was groaning with a tremendous load
Of packages, treasures, treats and toys --
Gifts for all good men, women, girls and boys!
More rapid than a jet, right toward me they came!
And I heard Old St. Nick call each reindeer by name:
"Now Tolerance! Now Free Enterprise! Now Liberty!
Onward Peace, and Free Speech, and Prosperity!"
He kept calling their names in that manner, and 'twas thus
I realized with a start --"Hey, Santa's one of us!"
I had always admired this very special man,
Who flew 'round the world without posting an FAA flight plan,
Who crossed national borders with impunity each year,
And never registered his team with the U.S. Department of Reindeer.
Who laughed at licenses and permits and just made his own route,
And ran a safe, clean, happy workshop far from OSHA's obnoxious
snout.
Who lived independent and government-free at the icy North Pole,
Far away from taxes, regulations and the dole.
So I tiptoed downstairs to peep into the den,
And try and steal a sight of that jolly old gentleman
Who had brought such joy to millions in so many lands.
Oh, to see him in action, alive, first-hand!
I heard the sleigh touch lightly down upon the roof,
Strange noises from my chimney came... then -- POOF!
There was Santa standing boldly beside our Christmas tree,
Bigger than life in red and white -- an awesome sight to see!
He took a bite of our cookies and said, "Hmmmm -- not bad!"
Then wrote a quick note of thanks to our youngest lad.
Then he reached down into the bulging bag at his side,
And talked aloud as he brought out what was stuffed inside:
"Here's a new computer for Johnny, and it's all set
To take him to the Advocates' Web page on the Internet!
While there he can also subscribe, for free,
To the Liberator Online, the Advocates' email bi-weekly!
"Sally wants to reach libertarians in her home town,
So I've brought her the best outreach tool around!
Operation Politically Homeless (OPH) will do the trick --
She'll find hundreds of new libertarians!" chuckled jolly old
St. Nick.
Then he pulled out a vast supply of pocket-sized cards
And I could guess what they were, without trying too hard.
"Here's a few thousand World's Smallest Political Quizzes,
too!
That should last them for at least a month or two!
"This family wants to communicate the ideas of freedom clearly,
So here are two fine tape sets which they will treasure dearly:
The Communication Power Pack and The Essence of Political Persuasion
Will make them Master Communicators, no matter what the occasion!"
From his bag he brought forth still more great surprises --
Libertarian T-shirts in all different sizes,
All festooned with neat slogans. Then there were books galore --
By Browne, Bergland, Cloud, Ruwart and so many more!
By now our living room seemed filled to overflowing,
But still Santa kept on going and going.
He scattered audio tapes by the dozen in every empty spot.
"There are so many great Advocates tapes -- they'll like all
these a lot!"
He was bringing out still more goodies, but I could stand it no
more
So I stepped out from hiding and stood by the door.
He smiled at me and winked, and I knew instantly
He'd known I had been there throughout his gift-giving spree.
"I just wanted to thank you --" I began to say.
But he held up his hand and smiled in his jolly way.
"There's no need for thanks! It's a great pleasure to me
To give gifts to people who care so much about liberty!
"The Advocates has made it easy for me and my elves --
In fact, we hardly have any work to do ourselves!
For people who want to see our world freed,
The Advocates has just the products, tools, and services we need.
"If you want to thank me, the best thing you can do
Is to support the Advocates -- and put these great tools to work
for you.
Oh, there's one thing more I want to leave. Here --
Keep this Libertarian Communicator magazine handy, so you
can order throughout the year!"
I wanted to say more, but he put his finger to his nose,
Then -- POOF! Straight up through my chimney he rose!
I went to my window, and saw the sleigh rise into the sky,
And as they faded away, I heard Santa cry:
"On, Free Speech! On, Tolerance! On, Liberty!
Our world is yearning to be set free!
One day soon all will see freedom's bright shining light --
Merry Christmas to all! And to all, a Good Night!"
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE ADVOCATES!
(If you'd like to see this in formatted form -- including links
to the products Santa mentions -- click here: http://www.theadvocates.org/liberty-christmas.html.)
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See you early next year!
You can contact the Advocates at:
Regular Mail:
Advocates for Self Government
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Cartersville, GA 30120-3513
Phone: 770-386-8372; for orders, 800-932-1776
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we *welcome* your donation. Please see: http://www.theadvocates.org/year-end-report-2005.html.
Or give us a call at 1-800-932-1776. Thank you!
"May it be to the world... to assume the blessings
and security of self-government." -- Thomas Jefferson, June
24, 1826.
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