Mr. IRS Man 
Words by Craig Franklin 
Music: Mr. Tambourine Man by Bob Dylan

Hey, Mr. Congressman, it all begins with you, every Bill Of Revenue:
The Constitution says taxation shall be with representation,
But the taxes are even higher than without it!
Hey, Mr. Congressman, you're looting the economy of the land of the former free,
Yes, taxes are legal theft and they leave us all bereft:
Just take a look around you if you doubt it!

CHORUS: Hey, Mr. Congressman, don't take my wealth from me,
Every cent you take I will remember!
Hey, Mr. Congressman, don't spend my wealth for me,
You know I won't forget you in November!

Hey, Mr. Senator, well, now it's up to you, this damn Bill Of Revenue,
You tax and then you spend, and where will it all end?
You bribe us for our votes with our own money.
Hey, Mr. Senator, this is your Judgment Day, what have you got to say?
Will you shrug or will you scoff and try to laugh it off?
Well, on April Fifteenth it's not so funny!

CHORUS: Hey, Mr. Senator, don't take my wealth from me,
Every cent you take I will remember!
Hey, Mr. Senator, don't spend my wealth for me,
You know I won't forget you in November!

Hey, Mr. President, well, now it's up to you, this God damn Bill Of Revenue,
You're the statesman of the hour, for you have the veto power,
But have you got the guts to use it?
Well, Mr. President, you know, History's watching you to see what you will do,
And if you see the light, and if you know what's right,
Have you got the guts to choose it?

CHORUS: Hey, Mr. President, don't take my wealth from me,
Every cent you take I will remember!
Hey, Mr. President, don't spend my wealth for me,
You know I won't forget you in November!

Hey, Mr. IRS man, you should be ashamed,
But you say you can't be blamed,
It's the others that I've named,
The ones who give the orders, your employers,
Well, Mr. IRS man, you know that's no excuse,
And since Nuremburg, it's no use,
For you have the power to choose,
And you know you could refuse,
For you have the power to choose:
What have you got to lose?
Give up the job of working for destroyers!

CHORUS: Hey, U. S. Government, don't take my wealth from me,
Every cent you take I will remember!
Hey, U. S. Government, don't spend my wealth for me,
You know I won't forget you in November!

Social Insecurity
Words by Craig Franklin
Music: Michael Row The Boat Ashore

Pension tax is deep and broad, Alleluia!
Paid into an actuarial fraud, Alleluia!

CHORUS: The best solution is to privatize, Alleluia!
Investing in America is very wise, Alleluia!

Investing in government is stupid and wrong, Alleluia!
Pay twice as much for twice as long, Alleluia!

CHORUS

A private pension on a minimum wage, Alleluia!
Saves twice as much for your old age, Alleluia!

CHORUS

Work yourself up to the middle class, Alleluia!
Leave a million dollars when you pass, Alleluia!

CHORUS

Black man get one check and then he die, Alleluia!
The pension system is a racist lie, Alleluia!

CHORUS

Venal Politicians
Words by Craig Franklin
Music: The Great Speckled Bird by Roy Acuff
Music Also Used For "It Wasn't God Who Made Honky-Tonk Angels"

CHORUS: It wasn't God who made venal politicians,
We have learned this again and again,
If you ask every one of those robbers,
They will all say that they are self-made men.

The Bible says to tithe of your increase,
A tenth part of every vine and pod,
Washington wants two dimes from each dollar,
So Caesar takes twice as much as God!

CHORUS

Each State and each City has its hand out:
A quarter is their subtle share,
And remember regulation and inflation
Add a nickel, but by now, you don't care!

CHORUS

They lie and they cheat and they tax us,
Their total take is half of all we earn,
Then they bribe us for our votes with our own money,
I wonder if we will ever learn!

CHORUS

As Lincoln prophesized, a house divided,
Half slave and half free, cannot stand,
Our future can be socialistic ruin,
Or America once again a free land!

Where Have All The Liberals Gone?
Words by Craig Franklin
Music: Where Have All The Flowers Gone? by Pete Seeger

Where have all the Liberals gone? Long time passing.
Where have all the Liberals gone? Long time ago.
Where have all the Liberals gone?
Gone Progressive, every one:

When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all Progressives gone? Long time passing.
Where have all Progressives gone? Long time ago.
Where have all Progressives gone?
All gone Socialist, every one:

When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the Socialists gone? Long time passing.
Where have all the Socialists gone? Long time ago.
Where have all the Socialists gone?
All gone Communist, every one:

When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the Communists gone? Long time passing.
Where have all the Communists gone? Long time ago.
Where have all the Communists gone?
All gone Capitalist, every one:

Thank God they finally learned!
Thank God they finally learned!

Bob Poole, Privateer
Words by Craig Franklin
Music: The Golden Vanity, Child Ballad #286

I would sing to you the story of man named Robert Poole,
Honors graduate of MIT, a real power tool,
Became editor of Reason to uphold the Golden Rule,

For Bob Poole, the path was clear, so clear:
He would become a privateer!

He would privatize the garbage pickup, voucherize the schools,
Charitize the welfare moms, non-profit parks and pools,
Reward the cops for cutting crime, and rewrite all the rules,

For Bob Poole, the path was clear, so clear:
He became a privateer!

Well, the mayor had a problem, yes, a monster deficit,
So he hired Robert Poole to tell him how to cope with it:
"Sell the airport, sell the roads, sell the chair whereon you sit!"

For Bob Poole, the path was clear, so clear:
Now he's a real privateer!

Car pool lanes were under-used 'till Bob Poole found the key:
Let solo drivers join the pool and pay a market fee,
More traffic flow, more revenue, from lanes marked H-O-T!

For Bob Poole, the path was clear, so clear:
Now he's a highway privateer!

Margaret Thatcher was elected Britain's blessed realm to rule,
Her privateer most peerless -- of course! -- was Robert Poole,
See him hoist the Jolly Robert from Land's End to Liverpool,

For Bob Poole, the path was clear, so clear:
Now he's a royal privateer!

Then Bob went on to Moscow to advise the KGB,
He said, "Czechs and Poles and Germans will be grateful, you will see,
Sell the Warsaw Pact to NATO so you can afford my fee!"

For Bob Poole, the path was clear, so clear:
Now he's a comrade privateer!

The Devil needed help and so he asked Bob for advice,
"With the bureaucrats and lawyers here, the fire's more like ice!"
Now he's grilling politicians at the going market price,

For Bob Poole, the path was clear, so clear:
Now he's Hell's own privateer!

(Slower)
When Bob dies and goes to Heaven, you can bet he'll be surprised,
When Saint Peter says to rest now for the dream's been realized:
Yes, thanks to Bob, all Heaven is already privatized!

For Bob Poole, his life was clear, so clear:
He was a wholly privateer!

 

Play A Simple Melody Right To Left 
Words by Craig Franklin 
Music: Play A Simple Melody by Irving Berlin

Conservative: I want things the way they used to be, 
Before the world got so complex: 
Men were men and girls were feminine, 
And only married folks had sex.

Liberal: Things need a-changin', 
Yes, they need rearrangin', 
Cause the world is a mess, 
And we have to confess, 
That's why you need us!

Conservative: I want things the way they used to be, 
Before the world got so complex: 
Men were men and girls were feminine, 
And only married folks had sex.

Liberal: Well, success is just luck, 
So if you make a buck, 
We demand that you share! 
Taking half's only fair, 
That's why you need us!

Conservative: I want things the way they used to be, 
Before the world got so complex: 
Men were men and girls were feminine, 
And only married folks had sex.

Liberal: Nurture all nature, 
And don't hate your Neighbor, 
just love all mankind, 
To find peace of mind, 
That's why you need us!

The Ballad of Edward Bushell
(The FIJA Song)
Words by Craig Franklin
Music: The Ship That Never Returned by Henry Clay Work
(Also used for The Wreck Of The Old '97 and The MTA Song)

Willian Penn, an English Quaker,
Preached widely that his Maker
Made each mortal with a conscience for a guide;
To the King that was a crime,
He said, "In Olde England, I'm
The head of Church and State and I decide!"

I'll need twelve honest men
To help me punish Penn
First the trial, then the hanging: let's be fair;
Penn's admitted all his acts,
Let the Jury judge the facts,
And the Law will set him dancing in mid-air!

CHORUS: Can the Jury ask some questions?
Can the Jury make suggestions?
Can the Jury judge the Law as well as Fact?
Will Pennsylvania be unfounded?
Is the Tyrant's power unbounded?
Juror Edward Bushell thought he'd fight back!

The King said, "Hang the traitor!"
But the Jury, three days later,
Gave their verdict: "Not Guilty, William Penn!"
The Crown Judge, in a fury,
Jailed the members of the jury:
"Pay a fine or rot in jail till who knows when!"

"To give you time to think,
There's no heat, no food, no drink,
You can freeze and starve so long as you defy!"
But Bushell was undeterred:
He said, "Men, we gave our word,
And Jury Justice no Judge can deny!"

CHORUS: Can the Jury ask some questions?
Can the Jury make suggestions?
Can the Jury judge the Law as well as Fact?
Can the Judge direct the verdict?
Can the Jury ignore his edict?
Now four brave jurymen thought they'd fight back!

From the 5th day of September,
To the 9th day of November,
In Sixteen Seventy!
Four martyrs starving in a jail,
Held hostage with no hope of bail:
They suffered that all juries might be free!

Then Lord Chief Justice Vaughan,
With Habeas Corpus drawn,
Saved four fearless freedom fighters from the Tower,
A Jury's Conscience trumps the King,
The Judge, the Law, or anything,
Yes, the Jury is the higher sovereign Power!

CHORUS: Can the Jury ask some questions?
Can the Jury make suggestions?
Can the Jury judge the Law as well as Fact?
Can the system be reformed?
Should the Jury be informed?
Vote your conscience as a juror and fight back!

Alternate last line, for FIJA members

Save the Bill of Rights, join FIJA and fight back!

We Shall Smash The State 
New Words by Craig Franklin 
Music: We Shall Overcome

Anarchists sing:

We shall smash the State, 
We shall smash the State, 
We shall smash the State, 
Oh, deep in my heart, 
I do believe, that 
We shall smash the State, someday.

Minarchists sing:

We shall sell the State, 
We shall sell the State, 
We shall sell the State, 
Oh, deep in my heart, 
I do believe, that 
We shall sell the State, someday.

All sing:

We shall all be free, 
We shall all be free, 
We shall all be free, 
Oh, deep in my heart, 
I do believe, that 
We shall all be free, someday.

The Statue of Liberty

Words by Craig Franklin
Music: Gold Watch And Chain by A. P. Carter
(Performed by The New Lost City Ramblers in 1965
at the Newport Folk Festival; available on Track 9
of Vanguard's Folk Music At Newport Part I)

CHORUS: Freedom's flame from her torch lights a path across the sea,
She lifts her lamp beside the golden door!
Oh, The Statue of Liberty welcomes all who would be free,
I hope that lamp will shine forevermore!

Protestant and Catholic, Moslem and Jew,
Their history is writ in blood and tears,
But they left their ancient quarrels and they came to start anew,
And they've lived in peace the past two hundred years!

CHORUS

They come to America, clutching their loved ones,
They're red and yellow, black and brown and white,
They crawl through the barbed wire and sneak past the guns,
In the day and in the dark of night!

CHORUS

They come to America from all over the earth,
Guided by the lamp of liberty,
All they want is work in the land of freedom's birth,
And the promise that their children will be free!

CHORUS

(Spoken) But now we have the Immigration and Naturalization Service.
Here's how they process a new arrival....

This one doesn't have his papers and he talks a little weird,
About brotherhood and peace and all that bull,
He's got scars on his hands and feet and long hair and a beard,
And the quota from Israel is full!

Freedom's flame flickers low now, it's dim and hard to see,
She lifts her lamp beside the closing door!
Oh, The Statue of Liberty weeps for those who would be free,
Let us pledge to light that lamp once more!

Freedom's flame once again will enlighten history,
She'll lift her lamp beside the open door,
Yes, The Statue of Liberty will welcome all who would be free
And bless them with her light forevermore!

The Spirit Of Liberty
Words by Craig Franklin
Music: The Wedding Song, by Noel Paul Stookey
Copyright 1971 by Public Domain Foundation, Inc.

She is here and now among you, at the calling of Her name:
Whisper softly, Liberty -- She will answer back the same, Liberty!
The spirit of your union here has caused her to remain,
Yes, whenever one or more of you shall call upon her name, Liberty!

Wherever you shall stand up, for the truth and for the right,
She will stand beside you, shining with Her light, Liberty!
And when your children ask you, if you stood alone,
You will smile and say that they will know when they are grown. Liberty!

BRIDGE: Then what's to be the reason,
To dedicate your soul?
Without Freedom, you're a slave;
With it you are whole.

Open up your heart to Her, and be touched with Her flame,
Wherever you may be oppressed, you may call upon her name: Liberty!
And whenever you shall seek Her, in age or prime or youth,
With head and heart and hands and hope, then you shall find Her truth, Liberty!

MUSICAL INTERLUDE

BRIDGE: Listen to the song within, and learn the melody.
Can you learn to sing it true, in every harmony?
Will you teach your children, and never drop a note?
And will they teach the same to theirs, by heart and not by rote?

She is here and now among you, at the calling of Her name:
Sing it proudly, Liberty -- She will answer back the same, Liberty!

All songs Copyright © by Craig Franklin. All rights reserved. 
30 West Sola Street, Santa Barbara CA 93101. 
Tel: (805) 895-5369 Fax: (805) 965-6343 
Send him email.