There is an ongoing war in America, in which dangerous youngsters are setting up unlicensed drink dispensaries in suburban neighborhoods across the country, and getting paid in untrackable stacks of change in exchange for a potentially dangerous substance: lemonade.
This issue became such a national epidemic, the lemonade cartel Country Time even stepped in so they could bail out their underage lemonade pushers. Now, the state of Texas has decided to surrender in the war on lemonade stands by deciding just to legalize them – how disgusting of them.
I may have been joking at first, but the real punchline in this whole debacle is that legislators across the country decided to lump lemonade stands run by children into the same category as food providers and vendors in the first place.
Texas, however, decided to get smart after national media coverage of cops shutting down a lemonade stand in the town of Overton by two sisters, who were saving up $100 to surprise their father with theme park tickets for Father’s Day.
According to TheHill, “The bill, sponsored by Texas Rep. Matt Krause (R), legalizes temporary lemonade stands and other stands selling nonalcoholic beverages operated by minors on both private property or public parks…The measure overturns a ban from the Texas Food Establishment over health concerns from homemade drinks.”
If you think that the need for this bill caused by ridiculous government interference in the first place shows that the regulatory state has gone far enough, Texas Governor Greg Abbott agrees with you. Abbott went on Twitter regarding the passing of the bill and stated: “it’s a shame that a law for this was even needed.”
Texas follows other states like Colorado and various localities across the nation who are getting smart about the dumb war on lemonade stands. The issue at the heart of this faux-crisis is less about kids selling drinks, and more about the government killing the spirit of entrepreneurship.
In 2018, Annabelle Timsit at Quartz wrote perfectly that “Lemonade stands are the ultimate symbol of American entrepreneurship. They represent both the ingenuity and free-market mindset of this country’s young people.”
The next time you see a lemonade stand in your neighborhood, go over and buy a drink for our future’s sake.