Teva Johnstone helps parents think differently about homeschooling and advocating for their spirited, sensitive children.
A licensed clinical social worker, therapist, parent educator, consultant, and proud unschooling mom, she offers workshops for families exploring modern homeschool and unschool approaches.
In this preview of our two-part interview on Free the People, we explore how parents can raise creative, self-aware kids while protecting their autonomy and emotional safety.
Homeschooling and Parental Advocacy
Sienna: Your focus is “Neurodiversity Parenting” of sensitive, spirited children. As a parent, what experience do you have with homeschooling? And how do you communicate values and non-negotiables with educators? Teva: “I’m a fierce advocate for my daughter. I am Mama Bear, and that happens when your child’s born. That fire ignites, and even if you were previously very agreeable, you become protective.
We’ve spoken to the adults involved in her education. We shared our values and said, ‘If you’re going to do pronoun check-ins, if you’re teaching ideologically-based anatomy and biology, let us know, because we will opt out.’
We weren’t trying to change their program; we just wanted to be informed so we could make the best decisions for our daughter and our family. Homeschooling gives us that control, and we’ve been involved in several outside programs, making sure our values are respected.”
Recognizing and Supporting Spirited Children
Sienna: What makes children especially spirited, and what qualities of spirited children give you hope? Teva: “Spirited children are very sensitive, perceptive, and often intense. They notice everything, feel things deeply, and respond strongly to their environment. That intensity can look challenging to parents, but it also brings immense curiosity, creativity, and resilience.
Their strong reactions mean they are learning to navigate the world in a deep, experiential way. You have to be patient, consistent, and respectful of their boundaries. They often require more autonomy and choice because control from adults can feel suffocating.
The hope comes from realizing that their spirited nature is a gift — they’re engaging deeply with life, and with guidance, they can channel that intensity into meaningful growth.”
Setting Firm Boundaries with Educators and Programs
Sienna: You’ve wisely said parents don’t owe their children to any social movement. What does a “good enough parent” look like compared to a “perfect parent,” especially when navigating ideological pressures in schools or programs? Teva: “A good enough parent doesn’t have to be perfect. They just have to be fiercely protective of their child, communicate values clearly, and make sure the child is safe and nurtured. That’s enough. Setting firm boundaries starts with clarity about your own values and what you are willing to accept in your child’s environment.
Communicate those boundaries calmly and confidently to others involved in your child’s life — teachers, coaches, program leaders — so everyone knows where you stand. It’s not about controlling the child, but protecting them while guiding them safely. Boundaries are most effective when they are consistent, explained with reasoning appropriate to the child’s age, and paired with choice where possible.
This approach helps children feel safe and respected, even when they don’t like the limits. For homeschoolers, that might mean opting out of programs or activities that conflict with family values while providing rich alternative learning experiences. The key is that boundaries are not punitive — they are protective and empowering.”
Teaching Self-Advocacy and Boundary-Setting
Sienna: How important is it to teach children, both sons and daughters, to assert themselves and set boundaries? Teva: “Both boys and girls need to understand it’s okay to say no and to set boundaries. That skill will serve them for life. Parents can affirm their child’s feelings without agreeing with interventions they see as harmful. Focus on listening, understanding, and providing support, rather than debating or shaming.
Maintain a strong, consistent value system at home so the child feels safe, and communicate respectfully with other adults in their life. The goal is to guide children through exploration and distress safely, keeping the family’s boundaries intact. It’s essential for children to learn that their voice and boundaries matter, regardless of gender. This includes speaking up when someone tries to control their behavior, their speech, or their personal space.
For girls, this may involve practicing saying no confidently and asserting themselves in situations where they feel pressured. For boys, it’s equally important—they need guidance on expressing discomfort or refusing control without aggression. Role-playing, modeling assertive communication, and consistent reinforcement at home help children navigate social interactions safely while respecting others’ boundaries.”
Practical Advice for Parents and Homeschoolers
- Honor Sensitivity and Autonomy: Spirited children thrive when their sensory needs and desire for choice are respected.
- Use Patience and Consistency: Strong reactions often reflect deep processing, not misbehavior.
- Channel Intensity into Strengths: Support rather than suppress creativity and curiosity.
- Establish Clear, Calm Boundaries: Know your values and communicate them confidently.
- Offer Choices Within Limits: Autonomy within structure builds trust and cooperation.
- Teach Assertiveness Skills: Equip kids with language to advocate for themselves.
- Respect Sensory Needs: Comfort matters more than conformity.
Listen to the full interview:
Homeschooling Your Spirited Children | Teva Johnstone | Leaving the Left for Liberty | Ep 20 on Free the People. Sienna Mae Heath is a gardening consultant, companion gardener, local tea vendor, writer, and artist. She is the host of the Food is Freedom and Real Unity podcasts on Free the People, where she explores agriculture, food as medicine, natural remedies, and human connection.